“50 is the new 30” people told me. “You are only as old as you feel,” they said. Meanwhile I really hated becoming what I called, “a half of a century” (sounds really bad right?). For weeks, even months, approaching my 50^th birthday, I struggled. No matter what I did, I couldn’t break out of the “Turning 50 funk.”

The downward spiral continued due to, of all things, a Bible verse! Specifically, Psalm 90:12 that says, “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Unfortunately, I took the verse literally. I surmised that if the average male lived to the age of 75 in my county, that means that I had (give or take, preferably the latter) 9,125 days left on the planet. Put like that it sucks.

With that I began to review my life. First I thought a lot about what I’ve done versus what I should’ve done. I also wrestled with where I’ve been versus where I should be. And I realized that what I thought I knew, I didn’t and how I thought it all should turn out hasn’t.

The responsibility solely lay on my shoulders for not making the most of it. I beat myself up pretty good. After all, you would think that I would have known better. I have officiated at well over 1800 funerals and have thus been given a lot of opportunities to observe the brevity of life.

Then two things happened that shook me out of it. A turning point of sorts. Interestingly enough it was two deaths. One was a man who served as a Deacon in our church for more years than I can count. The other was the drummer in our band who I had known for over 15 years. The former was in his seventies the latter, 57. I think reality hit – I’m not even guaranteed those 9,125 days.

So I decided that it was time to go to work and change the things I could.

First, I’m working on becoming more accepting and less judgmental. Every person I meet is one for whom Christ died. Just because they look or sound different than me doesn’t make me better than them. We’re all in the same boat, sinners sorely need of a Savior.

Second, I’m trying to forgive more easily. One person said that holding on to bitterness is “like taking a drink of poison and expecting the other person to die.” Not forgiving people who have wronged me only hurts me. And not forgiving me when I fall short does the same thing. Freedom is only found in forgiveness.

Third, I understand that relationships are more important than rules. I’m not saying we shouldn’t follow the rules but rules should never be more important than people. The church is supposed to operate on relationship not rules. My life should be lived by that same principle. Isn’t that what Jesus taught with the great commandments?

Finally, I’m discovering that everything counts whether I count it or not. It’s what I do with it that really matters. So it’s imperative to do what’s important and to embrace each moment as a gift. Even the bad experiences of my life and my own poor decisions have made me who I am. While I would not want to repeat them, I wouldn’t change what I’ve learned for anything.

I realize now, a few months into 50, that everything that I’ve done and everything that’s happened to me is part of the ongoing story that is still being written. The great part is that the God of the universe is at the keyboard helping me to create the final chapters. Now, I’m actually looking forward to the next 9125 days.

I don’t like back seat drivers (or front seat passenger drivers that should be in the back seat!). Of course, I am one and it was never more evident as when my daughter was learning how to drive.

One day early on we ventured out on the highway. Okay, it wasn’t a highway it was just a street in our development but it seemed like a highway since she was driving.

As she pulled out into the main street she did something I didn’t like but wasn’t necessarily wrong. I reached across and grabbed the wheel to try and turn it. (Oh yes I did!)

I scared her and she put on the brakes, hard and fast. I panicked, she was upset and it almost caused us to be in an accident.

I wonder how many times we do that with God? He’s got the wheel but we try to tell him where to go or worse, try and take the wheel from him. Since he knows the way, it’s better for him to be in the driver’s seat, or at the least, listen to him when he tells you which way to go. He’s the only other driver (and back seat driver!) you can trust.

The “E.R.” Perspective or “The Burden of Personal Responsibility.”

Have you ever spent time in an ER? If you have children (or been one!), you probably have. They’re no fun. People are treated in order of the seriousness of illness or injury. If you come in with chest pains, a severed finger or impaled on a 2 X 4 (yes, that really happened- I saw it on one of those E.R. reality shows!) you get immediate attention. Short of that? Take a seat and wait…and wait…and wait.

All of us likely need an ER at some point in our lives, I know I have and members of my family have. A decision to go to the ER doesn’t come lightly. When you go you do so because you need help now!

That’s what church is supposed to be. We are not a sterile sanctuary for the saints but rather a hospital for the hurting. We are a place where people can come when their heart has been wounded by life, their relationships have been severed and they have been impaled by the problems of life. We are a spiritual ER of sorts.

In Paul’s letter to the Galatians, he urges us to do two things. First, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 5:2 NIV). The picture is that of a soldier who gets wounded in battle and can’t carry himself, much less anything else. When that happens, it is up to his fellow soldiers to pick him up and carry his gear. That’s a great illustration of what we should do for others.

Paul added that, when we do, we are fulfilling the law of Christ – the law of love. Remember that when Jesus referred to love he spoke in terms of agape love which means to give and to expect nothing in return. And he usually talked about it in story form – think “Good Samaritan.”

Second, he goes on in Galatians 6:5 to say, “…for each one should carry their own load.” A contradiction? By no means. He is simply saying that all of us have been given the responsibility to carry our own gear through life and we shouldn’t transfer it to someone else unless when feel like we can’t go on. We all have our own load. We should bear it willingly.

The “E.R. perspective” is a good one for us to adopt at the onset of this New Year. What is it? E.R. in this case means, “Everyone’s Responsible.” Everyone is responsible for themselves…and for others.

Just imagine what would happen if we live out this principle in 2022? The world would be a better place, people would be less stressed and, most of all, churches would be doing their job.

Responsibility – a word for all of us to live by in 2022.